The Final Goodbye
by songbyrdk
Summary: Syaoran makes a shocking confession to Sakura...Could this be the end for them? PG-13 for serious matter - may not be suitable for children under 13 ;) Please R


            ****

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters of CCS (though I would probably like to). I don't even own this story, actually. The original idea was presented by a friend of mine, and I just re-wrote it with permission.  Basically, I own the grammar. Yay.  
                                                                                                                        (K)**

**The Final Goodbye**

            It had been a while since I ran out of his house, and it was raining heavily as if the sky was crying out loud for our sudden breakup. _Where can I go?_ The road seemed to be endless as I ran on and on, searching for a shelter to avoid the rain and to ease the pain of heartbreak. I could find no shelter and it poured so hard I could no longer tell if the droplets on my face are my own tears or the 'tears' of the pitiful sky. Thunder sounded, trembling throughout the sky, and I suddenly felt like even the sky and the gods were bullying me… and I felt the pain of the new gash in my heart all over again. Lightning struck and with it, in the black-clouded sky, I thought I heard shouting, "Stop fighting, you two!" 

            I winced and covered my ears, raindrops beating me as I ran right in the middle of the road. I began to recall…recall everything happened in his house. The memory, so painful and bitter, the memory I didn't want to remember...   
_  
*begin flashback* _  
  
            "Good afternoon, Syaoran!" I happily greeted the boy. His brown hair was in disarray, but I didn't care. He smiled for a moment, a smile as sweet as ever. Then the happiness drained from his face, as the sky clouds over unexpectedly on a gorgeous afternoon, or as one remembers a dreadful thought that would rather be forgotten.  

            "Oh...hello, Sakura…Come on in..." His voice too, was affected. I tried to read his expression. It was then I began to sense something… something was very wrong. 

            Without asking anything about his unusual sadness, I went into his house. I sat uneasily on the sofa. _What could be wrong? Did I do something?_

"Have some tea and cake." The words were too simple. He settled down on the sofa opposite me and began pouring tea into my cup. I mouthed a gentle thank-you and nibbled at the exquisite cake on my plate. 

            "How is it?" he asked a while later. His dark eyes pierced mine, intently. I had all of his attention. I guess I could have smiled at that, but Syaoran's strange mood still distracted me.

             "It's delicious! Aren't you going to eat some?" I replied, forcing a smile. I popped the last of the cake in my mouth.

            "Nah, you can have it." His smile was back, distant, but at least it was back. It softened me, like always.   
  
            I smiled. "Syaoran, I wonder if…Could I bring some of this cake home for Kero? I'm sure he'd just love..." I stopped at mid-sentence, half expecting he would jump up and said, "For that stuffed animal? He sure is a greedy little..." as usual.

            To my surprise, he agreed without clenching his fists like he always does, "Yeah sure...go ahead...Kero'll love it" He had a distracted look in his eyes

            "Wh… what… what did you say?" A wave of worries swept by my heart, begging me to ask him what is wrong. For something was surely wrong if Syaoran wasn't even insulting Kero...   
  
            "A penny for your thoughts, Sakura?" he asked me with a gentle smile. I guess I had let my worries appear on my face.

            "Oh… it's nothing! Em…Syaoran?" I paused. 

            "Yes?" 

            "Well… Syaoran, are you okay? You don't seem to be yourself today… Are you feeling sick or something?" I said it quickly, scarcely pausing for breath. My eyes met his and I realized that he was now in shock. He looked at me with his eyes wide, brows raised in surprise. 

            "Syaoran, what's wrong? Syaoran? Please tell me...Oh, God, Syaoran, what's happened?!" I demanded. I found myself standing, shaking his shoulders gently. I struggled to catch my breath.

            "Oh sorry… Sakura! I… err… I'm okay! Don't you worry, Sakura!" he exclaimed with a wide, false grin.

            _Yeah, nice try..._           

            "Don't – lie – to – me!" I told him, word by word. My heart was pounding. _Oh, what's wrong, what's wrong?! It **must** be serious if he won't tell me about it!_

            "Well…Sakura, err…I did, um, have something to, uh…something to tell you…" he stammered slowly with his head low. 

            I sighed, relieved. I sat back down and leaned against the sofa. "So, what's up?"

            Syaoran didn't look as calm. "Sakura… I…My mother…well…IhavetogobacktoHongKongattheendoftheweek!" It was one word, slurred together beyond my comprehension. It took a moment to register in my mind.

            _Wait a minute...did he say Hong Kong? _The words I had feared since he returned a few years ago. I found myself standing, staring blankly at him, struggling to find my voice. 

            "Sakura… Sakura, are you all right? Sakura, say something!"   
  
            "Syaoran…Did…did you say…Hong Kong?" I hardly recognized my own voice. He nodded. 

            I sat once again, tearing my eyes away from him. The moment I had dreaded had come. _Syaoran's going to leave me...again. _My eyes grew hot with tears, threatening to spill.__

He rushed to me and knelt before me, his hand rising to my cheek. To my horror, tears had burst from my eyes, soaking my face. I clenched my teeth to keep from sobbing. 

            "Sakura…please, please don't cry…I…I…" He paused, searching for a right word, any word that could stop me...stop my heart from breaking. "I…I'm so sorry…" he said. 

            The words sounded so empty, so useless to me. "Sorry" wasn't what I wanted to hear. "Sorry" wasn't able to cure the sorrow.

            I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "What do you mean by… you're _sorry_? Sorry for what? Sorry that you have to leave? Or sorry that you gave me that empty promise?" I said bitterly, suddenly angry. The anger made my heart hurt even more, but it was unstoppable.

             "Sakura… please listen to me… My mother… she wants me to go back to Hong Kong… to take care of the Li Clan…. I can't defy her." He tried desperately to explain, his arms reaching for me.

            "Li Clan… Li Clan… All you care about is your stupid Li Clan in Hong Kong! What about me? Did you ever think about me? What will happen to me if you leave?" I continued to yell like a mad woman, wriggling out of his reach. 

            "Of course I thought about you! Are you crazy?! Of course I thought about you, Sakura...I care about you so much...Do you think I'd just stop caring? If you can think that...you're a fool. A fool, Sakura." He had turned away from me, and I could see his shoulders shaking, on the verge of tears. I had never seen Syaoran cry, and here he was nearly there, nearly crying...for me.

            For a moment my anger lifted, but I pushed the thought out of my mind again. Anger was safe. Anger would save me. Save me from hurting any more, from giving in to the feelings I had felt for Syaoran for the longest time.    
  
            I let the anger brew inside me. Then fierce words spilled out of me, a fierce I didn't know I was capable of. "Oh yes, Li…Go…go back to your hometown, go back to Hong Kong and be leader, leader of your important Li Clan…I'll be fine without you, I don't need you...I don't ever want to...see you...ever again! Go back to Hong Kong and…and stay there…forever…" 

            "No… no, Sakura, no!" I didn't allow myself to look at him, but I could hear the shock in his voice. I moved for the door, but he grabbed for my wrist and held it tight. His hand was hot, and I could feel anger flowing out of him also now. 

            "How… how can you say that?! I…I have loved you…with all my heart, and you…you can say that to me? How can you… How can you be so unreasonable and so… so heartless?" His voice was raising and trembling as he spoke. If I had looked back, I would have seen his face was red, and his eyes, misty from tears that would surely fall. 

             I broke free from his grasp. "Unreasonable? Heartless? Oh yes…I'm the heartless one…_I'm_ unreasonable! I am so unreasonable that you have to leave me!" I took two steps toward the door.

             "Oh, Sakura, why?! I only said… I'm going back to Hong Kong for a short time and you…you want me to go away forever? Why? I don't understand...How can you do this to me?!" he yelled softly. I was aware of his hands on my shoulders, holding me like he was afraid I would be gone...forever.

             "Good bye…Li Syaoran…" I bid him, trying to wriggle free. For a while, he held so tightly that I could feel my heart pumping quickly against his fingers. Slowly, his grip began to loosen and I simply stepped away from him. _He…he let me go... he's let me go…forever..._

            I looked at him over my shoulder one last time before I stormed out of his house. He didn't run after me or beg me to stay. _This is it, _I thought, _he's really, really going to leave, and my heart...is really, truly broken...forever_.   
  
__

_*end flashback* _  
  
            "HONK HONK!!!" A loud noise jerked me out of my thoughts and I realized that people around were yelling and screaming. But I couldn't hear any of it. 

            "HONK HONK!!!" I turned around at the noise, and I saw the truck coming up behind me. I realized why everyone was yelling and screaming. I tried to run but my legs felt like a load of bricks. I found I had no desire to run, so instead, I just stood, frozen, awaiting my death.

             "NO!!! SAKURA, RUN!!!"  And then everything went dark. 

            _Sakura, _a voice called to me_, Sakura...Come with me Sakura... _I opened my eyes to see a beautiful, enchanting face, long hair flowing. She reached a pale hand out to me, motioning for me to take it. I reached, but my hand patted air. Tears were in my eyes, blurring my vision.__

"Sakura… No… no! Please…. Sakura, answer me!" I heard a voice, so faint and far away. Pain seared through my stomach. I shrieked, placing a hand on my stomach. My fingers were soaked. It took all my strength to open my eyes again. Deep red blood coated my hand. 

            I let out an inner scream as I tried to sit up and look once more upon him…once my love…forever my love. Tears were streaming from his eyes. 

            He cradled my body with his arms, and I could feel him shaking slightly. "No…Sakura, you…you can't die! I…I won't go…I'll take you with me...please…, please Sakura, don't leave me! I can't live without you, Sakura!" He seemed to be shouting, but he sounded so far away...so far...

            I could feel his pain…I wanted to stop the pain, calm him somehow, anything to stop the pain...but I couldn't find the words within me. My eyelids were so heavy, and my lips wouldn't part. Finally, with all of my strength, I said the first thought that came to me.

            "Syao…Syaoran, pro…promise me…you will…find…find a better girl…than me!" I gasped for air, trying to suck in another breath to sustain me for at least another minute.

             "No! Sakura…I don't want another girl!" he protested, face full of tears. He sobbed mightily and bent down to me, his face hardly inches from mine.

            "You… must promise… promise me, Syaoran!" I shouted with all might, but it only came out in a whisper. He looked so sad, so torn...all he could do was nod. 

            I gave a weak smile. "What's done is done, please…please don't be sad…I will…be with my mother…now...please remember me…no, forget...don't forget about me, Syaoran...I…I will always love you…Goodbye, my love…" I whispered, breathing softly onto his face. 

            I could see a brilliant white light ahead of me, and the beautiful face - my mother's face - had returned, beckoning for me to follow. I...I wanted to go with her, wanted to follow...but the pain...the pain was gone! I could jump, I could run to her...I could smile and...

            Far off in the distance, I heard my love shouting to me. "I love you Sakura, always...Please don't leave me...I love you Sakura." But he was so, so far away...

            I continued to run towards the light. From far off, somewhere far behind me, came an echoing call..."NO!!!" 

            It filled with...an emotion...an emotion...I tried to remember what the emotion was, but I couldn't remember what it felt like.  
  



End file.
